To Whom it May Concern

I haven't done the right thing because I wanted to in a long time. I do the right thing because I don't want people to hate me for doing the wrong thing. I do it so I can say I'm a good person. I do it, because it's the right thing. I don't get that warm, fuzzy feeling from knowing I'm on a righteous path. Instead I feel empty. Like a shell of a person compelled to move forward. Taking direction from society and following the accepted moral code. Is this to say I feel good doing the wrong thing? No, I can't say that feels good either. Right or wrong, it all feels the same. It all feels like nothing. I lack the connections to engage.
What drives me is the hope that someday I'll begin to feel. Maybe I'll meet someone or have some epiphany. Maybe someday I'll be plugged in and the right thing will bring joy. If I pretend to be a good person for long enough, will I become one? If I feign emotional attachment, will I feel it?